Julia And Alan Harvey

My tribute is a lengthy and detailed one but this site has made me realise Im not the only one suffering a loss and thankfully this site lets me pay tribute to those I have lost by writing about them and enabling me to still hold so close to my heart.

JULIA & ALAN HARVEY

Julia 15.06.35 Aged 63 When she passed away 13th August 1998.
Alan 5.10.36 Aged 69 when he passed away 11th July 2006.

My mam, Julia had a stroke in July 1992 and the Drs thought she might not make it through the night! The stroke which left her in a wheelchair and without the use of her right side was a bad one but my mam being determined and somewhat strong willed carried on and tried to do as much for herself as she could. She was in hospital for over 3 months recovering and bringing her home in Oct 1992 was like all our xmas's had come at once. Slowly her speech improved and she was able to take small steps around the house. Things were looking up and for a couple of years she just got better and better. Then in Sept 1994 after a routine breast screening, we got the worst news ever, my mam had breat cancer and needed a mastectomy. The op was carried out and things were looking hopefull after she was given the all clear. Again we thanked god that she had been saved after all she had gone through in the past, for her to suffer any more was unthinkable. Once again we brought her home and carried on as best we could. Then in May 1998 she started complaining of leg pain, but no ordinary leg pain, this left her in excruciating pain and she was taken to casualty on 2 occasions where we were told the pain was due to her stroke and it would prob be there forever. They prescribed pain relief and sent us packing. However after a 3rd visit to casualty a dr finally admitted her to hosp for tests and she was transfered to a ward and kept in indefinately. After a series of tests, my dad and I were called in to see the Dr who advised us that my mam infact had secondary cancer and that there was nothing more they could do as it had literally spread through her body so aggresivly that nothing could save her now. We decided not to tell her at this point as she had been through enough and her spirits were kept up thinking she would be out in time for our family holiday. She was in hospital for another 7 weeks where sadly she detiorated untill she was so weak and her body so tired that her organs slowly shut down and on the 13th of August 1998 my beloved Mam took her last breath and fell asleep holding mine and my dads hands. This loss left us all devastated and my dad was 'lost' without her. She was the centre of our famliy and its seemed to be nothing without her. My dad just plodded on and tried to carry on as best he knew how but he never ever got over the loss of her. His health wasnt the best either and after a couple of years he also started to deteriorate and in March 2004 he needed an operation on his heart as he had a blockage. The op was sucessfull and we looked forward to him coming home and once again carrying on usual, days out and our anual family holidays. In July 2004 he was taken into hosp with chest pains amongst otherthings and after several tests it was decided he needed a transfusion as he was also anaemic...after several transfusions he wasnt improving and it was then after more tests the Dr told us the shattering news he had Cancer....a tumour on his bowel. His survival chances were good though so the op took place on 6th Aug 04. It went well and due to his heart and other medical probs he was put into intensive care overnight for observations as a precaution. I kissed him goodbye after visiting time and left. When I arrived the next morning, I was asked to wait outside as the Dr was with him...I waited then the Dr ushered me into his office and told me my dad had taken a turn for the worst and was on a life support machine which was basically breathing for him. Devastated once again all we could do was hope and pray he would make it. Once again my dad fought and made it. He spent a long time in ICU but made a great recovery and I took him home in the Oct, just before his Birthday. He still had heart problems but the tumour had gone!!! And once again we carried on enjoying our days out and our holidays to scotland. In jan 2006 once again he began to have probs breathing and he had often and lengthy stays in hosp. He seemed to get a bit better then relapse, each time a bit worse. In March 06 I was once again asked to go to see his consultant where he informed me that my Dad had end stage heart failure and that he was not expected to survive much longer. His organs had began shutting down and he was deteriorating slowly. Still all the time in hospital he never once complained, only wished he could come home to which all I could do was reassure him I would take him home as soon as they said I could. Sadly he got worse not better and so it was decided that he would be cared for better in Primrose Hill/St Claires Hospice and in April we took that journey together in the ambulance. Originally it was to give him some respite care as we had by this time decided that he would live with me perminantly so I had sold my house and was waiting to sign the contracts on my new house. I took him out a few times when he had the strength in his wheelchair in the car and on one accasion took him to see the new house! He loved it...and talked about nothing but sitting in the consevatery once he came home and eating our dinner in the garden.
By early July he had lost so much weight and deteiorated so much he couldnt walk but still enjoyed being taken into the gardens of the hospice. The move was looming and we were all looking forward to him coming home asap. By this time I was staying with my dad just about 24/7 as he became scared to go to sleep incase he didnt wake up and on Sat 8th July he held my hand and told me he knew he was dying. Tears flowing from us both, I still tried to cheer him up and told him I would be taking him home soon and he asked me not to leave him. He deteriated fast over the next 48 hours and on the Monday I saw a major change in him. I knew it was only a matter of time till I lost my hero....He woke up a few times during that day and various famliy members visited knowing it wasnt long till he left us. Later that night, we talked...kinda said our goodbyes I suppose then we settled down for the night. At 11.45 he became very distressed and had some pain relief...I held his hand and this calmed him down but I knew he was tired and had fought as long as he could...that time was getting closer. Still next to him and holding his hand my beloved dad slipped away just after midnight. I was and still am devastated. He meant the world to me after my mam died we did everything together, went everywhere and he was my rock. But all the pain slowly went from his face and he looked like my dad again. I knew he would be happy now, reunited with my beloved Mam and finally they could be together. Its just a year since my dad died and its just gone 9 years since my mam died but the pain is so strong that its feels like I lost them both yesterday. My daughter Kate took it really badly as she was so close to her grandad and was there every step of the way during his illness.
I love and miss my mam & Dad so much and everyone says time is a great healer....Im sure it is but I could live till the end of time and never really come to terms with the loss of my deeply missed parents.
Bless you both and watch over Kate please she misses you so much Dad.
Give Dan a hug and my little grandad too.
Lots of love always.
Daughter Julia and Grandaughter Kate
xxx